Monday, December 14, 2015

Widows/Widowers: Managing the Holidays


We're knee deep (actually waist deep) in the holiday season.  Sunday was the last night of Chanukah; Christmas is less than two weeks away and New Year's a week after.

So, Happy Holidays!  

But for many of us, suffering the pain of loss of a loved one, the holidays are anything but happy. Longing for the one who's gone and never coming back overwhelms us.  The sound of a holiday song, the sight of families laughing together (even arguing( drives us to tears.

What can we do?

We can cry...and we probably will.

We can volunteer during the holidays, helping bring happiness and gratitude to others.

We can invite another lonely widow/widower to spend a holiday evening.

If we're at a family gathering, perhaps we can ask for a few minutes for everyone to share a memory of the one who isn't there.

 We might plan a visit to the graveside to "talk" to our spouse.

After my husband died, I kept his voice on our answering machine, and at midnight on New Year's, I played his message and somehow felt we were spending the holiday together.  You, too, can think of a new tradition and make it part of your life.

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